Sweep: MY Version
by carcrash-romance
Summary: What if the whole coven started to worship pie? What if Cal showed up in a grass skirt? What if Cal, Hunter, and Morgan all got cast in a very odd version of Phantom of the Opera? Read and find out!
1. tutus and drooling

Ok I know a lot of people have done this and I don't want to plagiarize, or put anyone down (even though nofurylikewiccansscorned is so good there is no way I can live up to her standards) well I hope you like this. I came up with all my ideas in the bathtub believe it or not and if anyone has the same ideas in another topic I didn't mean to copy.

SCENE: We open up to the gang's spring hangout by the school entrance

Morgan: So what do you wanna do at the circle this weekend?

Hunter: I know! We can put on tutus and wooden tiki masks and dance to Swan Lake!

Morgan: #looking freaked out# ummm ok….gay and psychotic much?

Raven: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT SOUNDS AWSOME!

Ethan: COUNT ME IN!

The rest of the coven (including Sky): Me too!

Morgan: #holding her head in her hands# Am I the only sane one here?

Big booming voice: No! #Cal's sprit comes in wearing a tutu and wooden tiki mask# I am sane too!

Morgan: #sarcastically# Are you sure?

Cal:#running away# WAAAHHHHHH! I want my mommy!

The whole coven: Hahahahaha!!

Cal: #Hits wall and goes back to the sprit realm# Goodbye Morgan!

Hunter: #starts humming the tune from Harry Potter#

Morgan: Will you stop?

Hunter: #still humming#

Morgan: Hunter? HUNTER!

Hunter: #STILL humming#

Morgan: AARR!!!! #Shoots ball of witch fire and kills Hunter.# NNNOOO!! My soulmate!!!! #starts crying over his body, the stops# Oh well. He was an annoying arse anyway.

Sky: YYYAAAAYYY!!!!!!! HES GONE!!!

Raven: Wanna make out? #insert make out session between Raven and Sky#

Bree: #to Shannon# wanna make out? #insert make out session between Shannon and Bree#

Ethan, Robbie and Matt:#drooling all over the place#

Ethan: Raven, move your hand a bit up! I can't see her chest!

Robbie: Go Bree! Go Bree! Go Bree!

All the guys: hut hut hut hut!

Morgan: What I wouldn't give for some help!

Killian: #teleports in# Who called?

Morgan: ME! Please get me away from the gays and psychos!

Killan: #not listening# Go Raven! Go Raven! Go Raven!

Morgan: Oh shit! I'm trapped! #takes a deep breath# I never thought I would do this. DADDY!

Ciaran: #teleporting in# You rang!?

Morgan: #points to the whole coven# Help?

Ciaran: #holds out his hand# Take my hand and I will save you!

Morgan: #takes his hand and disappears#

Gang: #comes out of makeout sessions and cheering, but Hunter is still dead# Ummm……….something happened.


	2. dancing turkeys at last!

Now just to let you guys know, this is a continuation form chap 1. not all the chaps will be like this. Some will be one shot, some will be continued. Now I still will make a sequel for helpless, but only if I get more reviews. For my last chap of changed of destiny, I got 2 reviews!! Only 2!! I worked hard on that chap!

Scene-Mars

Morgan: Ummm Da? What are we doing here?

Ciaran: #looking too happy# This is my refuge. I come here for come peace and quite.

Morgan: #majorly pissed# ok, there's refuge and there's MARS!!! U FREAKIN PHSYCO!! I AM NOT SOME UFO! UNLIKE YOU!

Ciaran: #on the ground bowing over and over# All honor the turkeys!

Morgan: Aw crap! I wanna be with the gays and psychos again!

Loud voice: How dare you insult me! Gays and psychos? Before I have my warriors kill you tell me, where do these gays reside?

Morgan: Oh boy. I WILL NEVER TELL YOU WHERE MY GAY COVEN RESIDES. What does that word mean anyway?

Loud voice: QUIET MORTAL! WARRIORS, KILL HER! #out fly some turkeys, moving by doing the can-can, clucking very threateningly#

Turkeys: #rapping# So we're the turkeys and we're really cool. We can do the can can unlike you! We have sunglasses with purple frames, and the song we rap is really lame. We will kill you so good bye, now say it now before you fly!

Morgan: AAAHH!!! #shoots witch fire and kills can can turkeys# ha-ha!!

Loud voice: HOW DARE YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO TEACH TURKEYS TO DO THE CAN CAN? I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!

(we hear loud thumping noise)

Morgan: #cowering with fear, then she laughs# hahah!!!!

(out comes a giant potato with legs and white shoes and no face, which causes it to trip quite a lot)

Morgan: hahahaha!!!!

Potato: Don't laugh at me! It's not nice!

Morgan: You know what?! I'm hungry. I think I'll have baked potato! #shoots ball of fire at potato and eats it with some chives she magically conjures# YYYUUUUMMM!!! This is good!

Ciaran: #still bowing, not noticing that his lord is dead. # So Morgan, wanna rap?

Morgan: NNNNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!! Let's do synchronized swimming! #magically conjures pool and they do it to Sleeping Beauty#

Ciaran: I'm a pretty little swan!

Morgan: And I'm a pretty little banana!

Ciaran: Bananas aren't pretty!

Morgan: Cherries!

Ciaran: Strawberry! #screams# UFO!

(UFO lands on Mars, chewing bubblegum)

Alien: dfkheofih! (greetings)

Morgan and Ciaran: huh?

Allien: jdbsuifbdigu (I come in peace)

Morgan and Ciaran: say whaaaaa?

Alien: fdiufhrfiuhgiufdg idhfsiufhriu udhfiur. (OH you dumbutts! Call yourselves witches!)

Ciaran: fkjdlsnhfuisdhgi (that's wasn't nice!)

Morgan: you got that?

Ciaran: Yup!

Morgan: Ookkk. Well I'm gonna go. #teleports back to Widows Vale# Hey guys! # Coven has stopped making out. Is now erecting a temple to worship pie#

Coven:May all the apples and cherries and pumpkins live for eternity, saving there unions to human mouths and requisition to pastry!

Morgan: #shrugs her shoulders# Well if you cant beat em, join em! # begins bowing, reciting poem# May all the apples and cherries and pumpkin live for eternity, saving there unions to human mouths and requisition to pastry!

Hope you enjoyed this chap! Reviews please. I know this one wasn't very funny.


	3. POTO trouble

Hey you guys! To my utter disappointment I didn't get a review for the 13 chapter of change of destiny! I worked hard on that! Now about this after seeing the POTO I just HAD to do chapter bout it.

-- means a quick A/N

/\ means any kind of action

() scene

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cast: Christine is played by Morgan

The Phantom is played by Cal

And Raoul is played by Hunter

Scene: some old dusty theater: the year is 1919

-----------------------------------

Some old guy: Anyone? Come on anyone? But the old yucky chandelier and we'll throw in a story!

Raoul- Mulph….

Old guy: Sold to the old guy! Now about that story……

(We are transported to some pretty gold theater full of actors and slutty ballerinas about 50 years ago. They are practicing Hannibal that involves a very bad paper mache elephant.)

Lefreve: -the original manager- People? Yeah I'm moving to Australia. I'm gonna leave the fate of this beautiful theater to these two nitwits ok? Their patron is, if I may say so myself, the very hot Raoul whose some idiot viscount. Have fun! And give the phantom my regards.

Nitwit #1: Phantom?

Nitwit #2: Woah! Would you look at that hot lil blonde!

Madame Giry -she's like the director- Dat ees my dautair!

Nitwit #2: Oh phooey. What about that amazingly hot brunette who has some pretty nice boobs?

Giry: She is kinda like my dautair!

N2-meaning nitwit #2-: Ok I'll just stay away from all the hot girls here.

Raoul: Hey all you people! Now I'm just gonna stand here for a few so all you girls can see just how hot I am!

Everyone else: OMG!

Christine: Hey! Raoul! Raoul! RAOUL?

Raoul: BARRY? Is that you? I told you to STOP sneaking into my mind and sending me messages of those strippers! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Christine: Ookkkk……obviously the mental institution didn't help….

Meg Giry -the hot blond-: What's wrong?

Christine: He didn't notice me. We were like best little kiddie friends. He used to call me little Lotte.

Meg: And how does that factor into your name? Chris would have been better. Or Chrissy!

Christine: Meggy..?

Meg: Or Tina! Or..!

Christine: SHUT UP!

Meg: Sorry!

(some bad crap happens and Carlotta who is the star singer and now refuses to sing)

N1-nitwit #1-: Please! We kiss you amazingly large boobs!

N2: and I kiss you silk covered bottom!

Carlotta: Finea. Ia willa singa fora youa! -Btw the way to find out what she is saying is just to take the A off the end of each word-

Thinka ofa mea!

Thinka ofa mea fondlya

Whena we'vea saida

GGGOOOOODDAAAABYYYEAAAAAAA

/Suddenly a curtain falls, trapping Carlotta and stopping the hideous singing\

N1: OMFG!

N2: What! Oh sorry, I was staring at Christine's boobs!

N1: You perverted idiot! Now Carlotta won't sing and we have to refund a full house!

Madame Giry: Christine can sing it!

/She sings it and blows everyone away. The performance comes and goes and we will open up next to Christine's dressing room. Notice that Carlotta is still under the curtain.\

(Scene: Christine's dressing room)

Raoul: Baby! You were wonderful! Come on! Let's have dinner!

Christine: I can't. You see I'm being visited by some masked guy who I think is the Angel of Music my dad was telling me about who likes to peek in through my two way mirror which is also a door through which he will kidnap me later but I'm so young and stupid I think he's my dad.

Raoul: ...

Christine: So I can't come to dinner.

Raoul: Please?

Christine: Oh what the hell. Just meet me outside while I get kidnapped ok?

Raoul: Sure.

Christine: ok! Thanks!

Raoul: Oh, no problem!

Raoul leaves. The moment he does we hear a very loud voice 

Phantom: Hey! Tell rich little baby cakes to go away or else he will be in a whole lot of trouble!

Christine: Angel?

Raoul/who comes back to check on Christine because she is taking too long\ Christine?

Christine: Angel! You now I don't like hide and go seek! Please come out!

Raoul: HOW CRAZY ARE YOU! OPEN THIS DOOR! Oh wait..she told me this would happen/He opens it but only after Christine is taken away through the two way mirror\

/Christine and the phantom are walking through some elaborate hallway with gold candelabras\

Christine: I had no idea I had this kind of stuff behind my room.

Phantom: I know! Isn't it cool! Now could we sing some really bad 80's pop song?

Christine: Sure!

/They sing. Eventually they end up at a boat which the Phantom rows.\

Christine: Are we there?

Phantom: No.

Christine: Oh. How about now?

Phantom: No.

Christine: If I flash you will we get there?

Phantom: Ummmmm…..grin

/They end up in the Phantom's lair and it is lit with waterproof candles that come out from the lake\

Phantom: Here let me show you around. This is my play set of the theater, complete with dolls for everyone!

Christine: Oh! You got my eyes just right!

Phantom: And my Christine Wedding Barbie, complete with veil!

Christine: AHHHHHHH/faints\

Phantom: Oh deary me!

(Christine's dressing room)

Meg: Chrissy? Heelloo? Wait….. a two way mirror? The mirror is a door? And Christine is missing? What does all this mean? WAIT! This means she was kidnapped! Oh I'm so smart!

/Meg goes in the door\

Meg: OMFG! A rat!

Rat: HHEELLO! I'm free tonight if you get my meaning…/winks\

Madame Giry: Meg! Come! We must leave this chamber!

Meg: But mom! Christine has been kidnapped by some perverted Peeping Tom!

Madame Giry: And dat ees a problem?

Meg: ………

(scene: the phantoms lair)

Christine: Hey! Why am I in such a nice bed? Wha-WHAT is that hideous monkey box? Ok..Ok…easy Christine...Let's just see what you remember. Ok I remember that music and the horse and the candles and the Phantom and- OH YEAH! The phantom!

Phantom: Good Morning. Do u want some breakfast? I do some killer blueberry pancakes!

Christine: Sure! But first can I peel off your mask?

Phantom: Sure! Go wild.

/Christine peels off the mask\

Phantom: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH How could you do this to me you bitch? You whore! I gave you everything and you want to see my horrible skin condition! I gave you my music and- oh wait. That's an actual line. Anyway. You can never leave now! MUWAHHHAAAHHAA

/Christine cries\

/Phantom looks at a clock\

Phantom: Ok I think its past your curfew now. I better take you back.

(opera house lobby)

N1- Well this is just great! Everyone loved Christine so much that they'll only see her but Christine's gone and Carlotta won't sing!

N2- /staring at Meg who just walked by\ Huh?

N1- WE. ARE. SCEWED.

N2- Oh. Ok by the way, did you send me a letter?

N1- I thought YOU sent me the letter.

Raoul- Hey! Did either of you nitwits send me a letter?

Madame Giry- Bonjour. Did you guys send me a letter?

Carlotta- Whicha onea ofa youa nitwitsa senta mea aa lettera?

Everyone- Huh?

Carlotta- Mea anda mya doggya gotta aa meana lettera.

N1- Well mine said to fire Carlotta!

N2- Well MINE said cough up the phantoms money.

Everyone but N2-What?

N2- Oh I forgot to tell you, the phantom demands 20000 franks payment. Oh and he was the one who sent that curtain to fall on Carlotta.

N1- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! You idiot!

Carlotta- Wella minea saida thata Ia ama bada singera!

N2- Its true! -by now I think you all know he's an idiot-

Carlotta-/death glare\

N2-/looks confused\

Raoul- Well mine said to stay away from Christine!

Madame Giry- Well mine said to put Christine in the main role and put Carlotta in the silent one.

N1- Oh well screw him!

Carlotta- NOA! Ia doa nota singa wherea noa onea wantsa mea toa singa!

N1- Look outside Carlotta! They love you!

Carlotta- /looks outside\

Fans- Let's go Christine, let's go!

Carlotta- /slams door\

Madame Giry- All ees ok. Christine has come 'ome and can now sing thee part.

Carlotta- NOA! IA SINGA! WHATA TIMEA ISA THEA SHOWA?

END OF CHAPTER ONE

I'm gonna be doing this over a period of time cuz my brain hurts too much if I do it all at once..its hard trying to screw up a good movie. now if u noticed I took a VERY long sabbatical. My lack of reviews, school stress, drama stress, and the fact that mi moving back to the USA isn't helping. So please just give me time.


	4. Interlude

Ok as I'm sure you all know, my stories will be taking much longer for updates. I've just moved from Belgium to NJ and the change is a bit hard for me. Thank you for your patience.

Interlude

-- means a quick A/N

/ means any kind of action

() scene

(the cast is taking a small intermission. Cal, Hunter, and Morgan and behind the curtain, changing and talking)

Morgan- I LOVE being Christine! I can wear a padded bra without being ashamed!

Cal- You mean you were never ashamed about having to wear one since you were 15?

Morgan- /fries Cal's hair with gamma rays of hate that shoot from her eyes

Cal- HEY! We have witch powers in this story?

Hunter- oh! I wanna try/burns Cal's butt with witch fire -hehe im evil!-

Cal- WHY ARE YOU ALL ATTACKING ME?

Morgan- /all professional and teacher like Well Hunter and I both feel a strong hatred for you because you are living proof that Hunters father had a life before Fiona and your mother sent a dark wave after Daniel and Fiona meaning they had to go into hiding meaning Hunter and his siblings spent 9 years without parents. And also because Linden was killed by dark forces trying to find the parents that left him as a direct result of the dark wave your mother sent. Oh and Hunter hates you for the past you and I had.

I hate you because you were my first kiss, made me fall in love and tried to kill me. I mean we had a GREAT time and all and…/notices the big ball of witch fire in Hunters hand um..thats not the point. The point is you're a lying sleazebag and you're very controlling. You know you should see a shrink for that!

Cal-/cries You're right!

Morgan-I am?

Cal-Yes! I'm a horrible (but hot) evil witch/cries some more

Morgan- Awww/comforts Cal

Hunter- Morgan! How could you help him after what he did to you?

Morgan- Well you never cry! And I have strong paternal instincts and they had to be used on someone! You know if you just show you feelings a bit more! I mean we were together for 2 whole books before you said you loved me!

Hunter-THAT'S NOT THE POINT!

Morgan- look it's not like you have to become gay……you just need to cry!

Hunter-/mumbles something Never mind, I'm going to get my next costume!

Cal-Thank you Morgan.

Morgan- Oh no problem! It's good to cry!

Cal- Oh you're so understanding/tries to kiss her

Morgan-/Freaks out at first, then kisses him back

Loud voice from above- MUWHAHAHAHAA! THE PLAN IS WORKING!

Hunter-/seeing his soulmate making out with his evil halfbrother WAH! Hey! I can cry!

I hope you all liked this! REVIEWS PLEASE! I know this is short but its just a little in-between thing.


End file.
